Tips on dealing with a third wheel


Tips on dealing with a third wheel


You recently met an interesting guy and have been dating him for a couple of weeks. Unfortunately, your friend, who is totally clued into your love life until now is cool with the idea of being with you and your date all the time. All. The. Time.

You have sensed the awkwardness your date goes through and often felt it yourself. You need to deal with the situation and handle it well so that your date is comfortable, but at the same time, your friend does not feel alienated. Read on how.

Talk to your friend

Prepare yourself for a talk with this friend, and understand that she will be a little taken aback. Since you both share intimate details of your lives, she considers it normal to hang out with you and your new beau. Also, she will miss the time spent with you, as it will be reduced considerably. You need to let her know that she is welcome in her life, but at the moment you need to spend some quality time with your date, just the two of you. Be firm, but not mean.

On occasion, just ensure that you have spoken to both parties regarding who you are meeting and when, so that both know their boundaries. That way your date will not be compelled to invite your friend just because he ‘had to’. Also, your friend will realise that after a certain point, she needs to get up and leave to give you both much-needed privacy.

Make time for your friend

Be aware of your friend’s feelings, and make time for her so that she doesn’t feel deserted. In fact, plan an outing with her in such a way that your date joins you both a while after. That way, she can get to know him, and he can gel with her. Neither party will be awkward if you orchestrate this transition or feel that they have to share you and your time with the other person. The meetings could lead to your friend bonding with your beau.

Don’t make up stuff

Very often, human beings tend to resort to the tendency of making up stuff to avoid having a confrontational conversation. Try not to tell your friend untrue stories of your date in the hope that she will feel for you and give you the space you need. Be open about it.

Plan activities together

Once your friend understands her limitations, try to see if you can plan activities or time with the both of them together, keeping them in the loop. Plan a movie, an adventure activity, bowling, board game night or anything which would fall into a ‘buddy’ vibe rather than a couple kind of feeling.





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